"tum saath ho, ya na ho

kya farq hai?

bedard thi zindagi

bedard hai..."

A month later

I was slowly trying to gather some courage inside me, trying to heal from all that I have suffered.

I'm currently focusing on my studies. I have exams starting soon, and I need to hurry a little now.

There's one good thing I've done in the past month, and that is to save Nisha. I fought her case in court after requesting Nirwan ji to be her lawyer.

Even though Nirwan ji told me he would fetch her justice only by listening to me, I refused and told him I would legally fight her case against her in-laws, because no power lies in front of the law.

Talking about Nirwan ji, we haven't talked much in the past month. He's trying to interact, as much as I ain't. He's not sleeping in the same room as me though, and I'm relieved he is not.

Because there's still a part of me which is left unhealed, broken, and full of deep wounds.

Physical wounds may heal with time, but the ones you have emotionally can never be healed.

I don't talk to him much, but he always tries his best to keep me talking to him. I just don't find a good reason to narrate everything I have in my mind.

Surbhi visits me often and she is the only person who manages to make me smile, and also the only person I talk to a lot.

Nirwan ji's mom has been supporting me a lot. Since the day I came back home, she visited my room three times a day to check if I was fine because I didn't allow anyone else to enter my room.

Not even Nirwan ji.

She probably saw me studying all the time, because she now comes only twice a day and leaves without saying anything.

A maid comes to my room to give me my dinner. I have breakfast and lunch with the other family members because Nirwan ji is not there in those hours.

But when he comes back at the time of dinner, I ask the maids to personally give my food to me in my room.

I closed my books and set my stuff aside when I heard the door knocking. I stood up and opened the door, where a maid was standing with a plate of food.

"I'm not hungry today, you can take it back."

I forgot to eat sometimes, and now I don't feel like eating anymore.

"You skipped dinner yesterday too, ma'am. Sir has asked me to strictly give you dinner today," the maid insisted, making me frown.

"Sir?"

"Nirwan sir."

I sighed when I heard his name.

Why does he care if I eat or not? Will I die if I skip dinner for two nights?

"Tell him I'm not hungry," I replied and closed the door on her face in annoyance.

Just his name is enough to annoy me like anything.

I sat down on the bed, picking up my phone to check if there were any messages from Surbhi. She was the only person I have kept my phone for.

I have deleted all my socials, all contacts, everything. I just don't want to stay in touch with anyone.

The door of my room opened all of a sudden, startling me as I looked up towards the door where Nirwan ji stood, wearing a tight grey tshirt and black pyjamas.

He closed the door behind him and walked towards me, holding the same plate of food the maid just left with.

He settled down on the bed in front of me, setting the plate on the nightstand.

I saw him for the first time in a week, I guess.

I expected him to look pale, but his face seemed a little more hardened now, his jaw tight and his eyes holding unspeakable, countless thoughts.

"Eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"You have to."

"You can't force me," I replied coldly, turning my face to look away.

"You can refuse to see me, but not to eat. You need some energy in you to study and be healthy," he replied, shifting a little closer to me.

He slid his finger under my chin, making me face him again. His eyes were speaking a lot of things, which I knew he would never say in words.

He offered me a bite of food, while I slowly opened my mouth and took it in without complaint.

The only thing between us was silence, he continued feeding me and I continued eating. I told him twice that I can eat on my own, but he didn't listen and forced me to let him feed me.

After I was done, he offered me a glass of water while I expected him to leave the room, but he remained seated where he was sitting and stared at me.

I set the glass on the nightstand, looking back at him. It was hard to avoid him because he was sitting right in front of me, his gaze boring into mine.

"I don't know how long you'll need, but I can't stay a moment without talking to you, Aakriti," he mumbled softly, while I looked down at my lap.

"I don't want to hear those things from you, Nirwan ji. You wouldn't have left me in jail if you couldn't pass your time without talking to-"

He cut me off, "I don't pass my time being with you. I just know I can't survive a day without hearing your sweet voice."

"I don't want to listen any-"

He cut me off again, his voice turning a little firm, "I know my cruelty and stupid misunderstandings took away your innocence. I'm more responsible for your emotional damage than your own family. It's all my fault that you had to suffer so much, that you had to doubt your own capabilities, jaan. But I swear, no matter what, and no fucking matter who, but no one will ever make me doubt you, I'll make sure of that."

Tears welled up in my eyes while I listened to him silently, a tear slipping from my eye and rolling down my cheek.

"Don't cry, I'll never forgive myself if I make you shed any more tears. I've already given you enough pain, Aakriti. And I'll never bear to see you cry because of me again," he said softly, while I closed my eyes tightly, letting my tears roll down my cheeks.

I felt his muscular arm wrapping around my waist, pulling me on his lap. My tiny body in front of his slammed against his strong, broad chest, making me hide my face in his chest and soak his shirt with my tears.

His other hand began caressing my head from the back while my sobs became a little louder.

Yes, I was crying in his arms, but that didn't mean that I lost the strong Aakriti I became in the past few weeks. It didn't mean that I forgot my dignity again.

I just wanted to cry, shed my tears until I felt lighter. I never cried even in front of Surbhi, because all I told myself was that I'm strong and I won't cry for people who changed, or the people who became cruel with time.

But now I realised I was just pretending to be fine. I pretended to myself that I was okay and I didn't really care.

Crying doesn't always mean you're weak, it means you can let heavy thoughts go off your mind through small and light tears.

He caressed my head and back, and now I could feel his shirt completely soaked with my tears.

I parted from the hug and looked up at him. There was a light wet patch formed on his shirt with my tears, while he cupped my face and wiped the remaining ones gently.

"If you shed any more tears, I swear I'll punish myself in the worst way possible," he mumbled softly, planting a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I hate you, I still hate you," I whispered, while he gave a soft yet weak smile.

"Hate me all you want, and I'll love you with all I have. I'll make sure I get my old Aakriti back," he replied, enveloping me in his arms once again.

I got off his lap and wiped my tears with my hands, while he remained seated silently. I hated this side of myself, I never thought I would break down in front of him like this.

All the cold and distant me is gone now. And he knows I was craving for the same moments we had earlier, the same spark that ignited between us.

☆

I opened my eyes slowly when I felt someone shaking me. With a squinted gaze, I looked up and saw Nirwan ji smiling at me.

I sat up, yawning, rubbing my eyes simultaneously. I finally glanced at him properly to know the reason behind his smile, but couldn't understand anything.

My eyes still felt heavy, I had cried a lot last night. But I know that he probably slept next to me last night too.

And if he thinks I forgave him, then not really. I won't say that I forgave him so soon.

Maybe he doesn't regret his actions just yet.

"W-what happened?" I asked slowly, confusion washing my face.

"Don't you know why I woke you?" He asked, his smile fading as soon as he heard my question. I shook my head in response while he closed his eyes with a sigh for a second before opening them again.

"Aakriti, I never expected you to be this serious with things. Don't tell me you don't remember anything," he hissed, his tone gentle but annoyance lacing it.

I genuinely didn't know what I couldn't remember and what he was really talking about.

I didn't even know what date it was today, I stopped keeping track of certain things and all I focused on since the past month was my studies.

I continued to stare back at him in confusion and he finally stood up from the corner of the bed, holding my hand gently in his.

"Stand up," he said, while I stood up slowly. He began walking me out of the room while I frowned, stopping at my place.

"Where are you taking me early in the morning? I might be looking awful and my dupatta-"

He cut me off, "You look perfect the way you are. Come on now."

I followed him downstairs, frowning looking at the entire mansion. All the lights were off, and there were no servants around.

Usually, Nirwan ji leaves for work by this time and the rest of the family is awake, but the case today seemed different.

We came in the middle of the huge living room, the lights still off. I glanced at Nirwan ji confusingly, and before I could open my mouth properly and ask him what was happening, I was startled by a sudden shower of confetti all around me, while the lights turned on at once, the other family members emerging from different corners of the mansion, shouting in unison.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AAKRITI!"

I didn't know how to react, whether to cry, laugh, or smile, because I haven't smiled often in the past month.

I had a good look at the people around me, other than Nirwan ji's parents, uncle and aunt, there were his cousins and other relatives too who showed up only at our wedding.

A soft smile crept to my lips on its own, looking at the spark on their faces. The excitement they had, and the genuine happiness on their faces to see my reaction to their surprise, it meant so much to me.

I celebrated my best birthdays with my own family until last year, but the warmth these people gave me makes this one the bestest.

I never thought they would treat me this way, I lost my hopes of getting loved by everyone again.

"Happy birthday, jaan," Nirwan ji's voice diverted my attention towards him, while I looked at him, the soft smile on my lips fading a little. I was holding back tears which I didn't want to shed right now.

He was looking into my eyes softly with a smile, maybe expecting me to give him the same.

I turned to look at the others and smiled again, "Thank you, everyone. I never expected this surprise, thank you so much!"

"Nirwan bhaiya planned it, bhabhi. You should thank him instead!" One of Nirwan ji's cousin sisters spoke up, while the others agreed to her in unison.

I smiled awkwardly, turning my gaze back to Nirwan ji who was still looking at me with the same soft eyes. There was a hint of pain in his gaze, but I was probably imagining it.

"Thank you, Nirwan ji," I said slowly, and he leaned in to kiss my forehead.

"Only the forehead, bhaiya?" One of his cousins shouted at him, and all of them broke into laughter.

Nirwan ji laughed too. He laughed. I haven't seen him laughing much with his entire family.

He looked at me again, his smile still on his lips, "Where else then?"

"Somewhere else, bhaiya," one of his cousin brothers said with a smirk, while I looked around at the entire family, feeling embarrassed and nervous.

"Yes, a spot where every husband should kiss his wife," another brother of him said, smirking even harder.

I looked at Nirwan ji, instinctively biting my lower lip.

Not in desperation, obviously in nervousness.

I don't know what his next move will be, but I just hope he doesn't embarrass me in front of everyone. It's not only his cousins but also the elders present here.

Without breaking eye contact with me, he knelt down, lifting my right foot and holding it in his hands.

My eyes widened when he leaned in, still looking up at me, and kissed my foot.

I gasped, my palm flying over to my mouth, while his cousins hooted in the background.

He did the same with my left foot, while I shook my head, trying to stop him, but he didn't seem bothered.

"What are you doing, Nirwan ji?" I whisper-shouted, while he chuckled.

"Kissing a spot every husband should of his wife."

He stood up again slowly, looking into my eyes deeply. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I had learnt to hold them back.

Don't cry, Aakriti. Don't cry.

The family probably thinks everything is alright between both of us. And saying something in front of everyone will spoil their mood.

He called his entire family here, both his dad's and mom's side, and I can't afford to ruin their enthusiasm.

Giving everyone one last smile and thanking them again, I excused them all and went upstairs to take a quick shower.

I still can't forgive him, though.

Please like and spam the comments! I would love to read your reviews on the chapter <3

With love,

Ayra.